January 17, 2016

Dear Clumsy Girl, You are not alone.

Hey you with the injury,

Yes you. You know who you are.

You're the girl with the random, inexplicable, oddly shaped bruises. The one that's asked constantly how she got hurt, but isn't always sure. If you aren't her, you know of her. The girl who can trip up the stairs or even over that huge pile of thin air.

Don't worry clumsy girl, I'm here to let you know something really special: YOU AREN'T ALONE.
Wanna know how I know?

Because I am you. I'm not just a self-proclaimed clumsy girl anymore either, I've now gathered quite the following of people who find my clumsiness entertaining. Oh, you want to hear my laundry list of harmful or potentially harmful incidents? Ok fine, if you're going to beg I'll share.

Starting as far back as I can remember, I:

choked on a piece of candy (that I found behind the couch).
busted my head open from running through a linoleum kitchen with socks on (still have the scar on my eyebrow to prove it).
flew over the handle bars on my bike and basically kissed the pavement with my whole face (doctor wasn't sure if my two front teeth would grow in correctly after that one; luckily they did.
broke my wrist from a roller skating incident.
broke my big toe from stubbing it on the living room carpet.
broke my finger from diving back into 1st base while playing softball.
got 5 stitches from cutting my finger while opening a can of cat food.
obtained another broken finger from slamming the deep freezer door on it (My dad might have helped with this one.)

If I actually sat down to think this through I truly believe I could go on for quite a while. Instead I'll fast forward to my most recent unintentional injury. I grabbed a school promotional pamphlet off a co-workers desk and somehow it flew up and cut my eye. I can't make this up. The pamphlet basically attacked me. I had to go to the eye doctor, who asked if I cut my eye with a big piece of cardboard because that's how bad the cut was. No sir, I did not cut it with cardboard. I just happen to be really good at injuring myself with minimal assistance from outside objects.

You're probably wondering what my point of all of this is? It's not just to put myself on blast with all my ridiculous situations. It's to give a very special shoutout to all the other clumsy girls out there. I feel your pain and I know the struggle is very real! Don't get down on yourself clumsy girl, there are tons of us out there who can relate. My advice? I know you didn't ask for it; but embrace who you are, clumsiness and all. And when people say "you are special" consider it a compliment, because you are.

The universe needs people like you.
Saw this shared on Insta and had to share.
post signature


  1. Lmfao. Oh my god. This is ME!
    Stitches in one ear from falling down stairs holding a glass-2009.
    Falling while walking in front of target-2010.
    Walking into a glass door-2011.
    The list goes on! But I think it's a blonde thing tho...

  2. Hahaha, I love this! This is SO me as well! I have all kinds of scars (or battle wounds as I call them) due to my clumsiness. My most famous incident was when I performed a nearly perfect routine in my acrobat competition, proudly saluted the judges, and promptly turned around and tripped over my own feet on my way off the mat... yes, after flipping all around the place. Mortified then but hilarious to think about now!